Archive for April, 2007

Could it be?

Posted: April 30, 2007 in Holy Spirit

If you read my blog from yesterday, you know that I was talking about flowing with the Holy Spirit and doing what the Father is doing. This morning I picked up Bill Johnson’s latest book, Strengthen Yourself in the Lord, and began to read some more of it. Just a few pages into it I became aware that the section I was in was talking about having solitude and how Jesus would only do what the Father did!

A year ago when my only way to hear Bill was through podcasts and downloaded sermons I heard him speak about unusual coincidences being the language of the spirit. This can come in all sorts of ways whether it is really bad traffic or waking up at the same time each night. Well, I find this as no unusual coincidence as I am wanting to only do what I see the Father doing to then read in just four pages about Jesus doing that same thing.

What does it mean? God is just confirming it to me. Why is it important? Because more will be accomplished on accident when I am focused on His presence than on purpose when I am focused on performance. Waiting two hours in a meeting for the Spirit of God to show up in power will create far more miracles than by just praying for people from the start.

I think that is another thing that God is trying to teach me: to co-labor with Him. He doesn’t want to do all the work and He doesn’t want me to do all the work. He wants me to partner with what He is doing. We co-labor with God. We co-labor next to God with what He is doing. He doesn’t co-labor with what we are doing. We are to co-labor with what He is doing. Yet we rest because we only do what we see the Father doing. Amen to that!

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Language of the Spirit

Posted: April 29, 2007 in Healing, Holy Spirit

God has really been drawing me in recently to seek His voice. With the events of this week there have been a lot of questions that I have been asking. Most of the time my question has been about trying to understand what He is doing, such as, “God, what are you doing in this?”

As the school year nears its end, I can’t help but realize that I need some new goals for the summer. Right at the top of that list is to understand the language of the Spirit. While I might have maturity, character, and other things down solidly, I feel that I am definitely lacking in the area of understanding the Holy Spirit and even what my own spirit is feeling in any given circumstance.

Growing up one of my biggest frustrations was never feeling like I could hear God. I would ask God about things and never hear his answers. It was like a person who is only five feet tall trying to dunk (yes, Muggsy Bogues dunked a few times, but he was 5’3”). After so many times of trying and never getting an answer I began to expect that I would not hear God’s voice. I would even tell people that I don’t hear God or worse yet, that I can’t hear Him.

Since then I have learned that it is not a good thing to say things like that about yourself because they become true. They also create an escape route out of any circumstance that would require that ability (some even call it an excuse!).

Without going into the details of what I was asking in one of the situations, I basically said, “God, I know you are good, but I don’t like this and you gotta make it stop by a certain day or I’m gonna make changes so that it has to stop.” Well, I said that Friday night and on Saturday it was fixed. My deadline was tomorrow night, so I am pretty happy that God worked ahead of schedule.

With what God has put on my heart to do, I understand the importance of being in step with Him and with what He is doing. Jesus healed everyone who came to Him, but not everyone in the world got healed while He was in ministry. He went where the Father sent Him. While I love the idea of praying for every person I ever come across that has a healing need, the reality is that it is not practical for one person to try to bring healing to the entire world. There must be an army of believers who are mobilized, not just one who takes on the task of praying for each person they come across who sneezes or wears glasses.

I want to walk into a store and understand that the Holy Spirit wants to do something, not spend every free moment out in the city looking for the next person with a limp. I know that my schedule will become such that I will be traveling enough that I will be trying to get the most out of my time at home so it wouldn’t be practical if I returned home just to spend hours at the store because I kept seeing people needing physical healing. Many of the great Healing Revivalists of the 1950s got burned out because they would minister constantly and people would line up for prayer at their homes. The majority of them were only in effective ministry for a few years. I don’t believe that God would want us to do something that we can’t keep up for very long. Jesus would even go away to be with God. He would just go hide up in the mountains so that He couldn’t be bothered. We should probably do something like that. Minister and then rest. Jesus knew what the Father was doing. I want to follow His lead.

Don’t ever give up!

Posted: April 27, 2007 in Healing

I have heard Bill Johnson say several times that you never know when it might be the time that God heals somebody. Similarly he says that it is ok for us to live in mystery, not knowing why things happen the way they do, but knowing that God is ALWAYS good regardless. Just think of how hopeless a situation could be for someone who has been seeking healing for years. It would probably get to the point of not wanting to waste their time in prayer because nothing ever seemed to happen.

On Wednesday right after school was over with I was slowly walking my way to my car when some students stopped me for prayer. I had just come from revival group where my leader and other individuals prayed for me when we ended and the entire group prayed for me when I showed up. On my way there, the Junior High Pastor prayed for me and before that another 10 students or so had been praying for me in the lobby. Even though my body and mind werre exhausted I told them they could pray for me. Another one of our first year pastors joined them and I decided to test it out by walking. For the first time since Sunday I was able to walk without feeling like my knees were going to collapse!

The funny thing is that I almost turned them down because I just wanted to get home and sleep, which is really funny since it has been almost impossible for me to sleep even though I am spending 10+ hours in bed. And foolishly the thought ran through my mind that their prayers wouldn’t do anything. WRONG! I am glad I said yes to them and whether it was just from my obedience to receiving prayer or maybe that act of physical obedience caused a spiritual release of some tiny amount of faith on my part to get God to supernaturally strengthen my knees in an instant.

This can apply to other things as well. I want to see people who are paralyzed get healed. I have not seen that happen yet, but if I pray for 1,000 people who don’t get healed I am not going to stop! Also, when I moved out to Redding I made a point of spending time soaking so that I could feel the presence of God. I would go to the prayer chapel day after day for hours at a time not settling for nothing. Those months of pressing in led me into an incredible January and February of experiencing God on a whole new level!

So here is my charge to you: If you are seeking healing, do not turn down prayer even when you would rather just go on your way; If you are seeking God, do not stop seeking Him when you don’t seem to be getting anywhere; If you are seeking breakthrough in healing for others do not stop praying for them in faith no matter how many aren’t getting healed; Don’t ever give up!

Is God the Biggest?

Posted: April 26, 2007 in Healing

Bill Johnson often says that we must keep our awareness of God’s presence at the forefront of our minds. We cannot allow for other things to become bigger than our awareness of His presence. Until Monday night I thought I had that figured out pretty well and that no matter what the circumstances, my awareness of God’s presence was the biggest thing in my mind. Let me explain.

Late Sunday night I noticed that my knees were starting to hurt. I didn’t think too much of it because I had spent a longer time kneeling during worship on Sunday night than I normally would, so I figured it would go away soon. Well, on Monday my knees were hurting worse so I decided to just lay down in bed and rest. For several hours I was aware of God’s presence as a lay there. Well, by that evening I was having trouble sleeping and my knees were hurting really bad. In the middle of the night there were several times in which I audibly grunted due to the extreme pain that I was in.

When I woke up Tuesday morning I was in horrible pain. By now my back was also sore from being in bed for so long. Additionally I could hardly walk because of the pain and my knees also felt like they were going to buckle underneath me. I quickly became aware of how often I use my knees, from the slight bend to wash my hands in the bathroom sink to getting out of bed, rolling over in bed, and going up and down stairs. I ended up going to the prayer chapel hoping that being in His presence would heal me, but I was so miserably in pain that I could not even become aware of His presence. At this point I also had a terrible headache and so I ended up making my way over to the main building to just take it easy before school.

On my way there I almost fell over a few times. It felt like someone took a baseball bat to my knees and that they were going to buckle from underneath me. This isn’t just soreness, I know what that feels like. My back is sore, as is my neck and collarbone, my knees just downright hurt. I was miserable the whole day at school. I couldn’t concentrate because of the pain and the headache. I ended up just going home after school and skipping my Tuesday night homegroup.

Being able to lay down helped some and several hours later I noticed that my knees weren’t hurting when I wasn’t moving. A few times in the night I got up to use the rest room and quickly discovered that they were still hurting and still wanted to buckle under my weight (and I am not heavy!). However, I didn’t have the killer pain at any time like I had the previous night or during the day so I woke up thanking God for the improvement. However I hardly slept all night due to my back and neck hurting and woke up with my collarbone also hurting.

My headache was so bad that I felt like I was in slow motion, so when I was getting very far trying to do homework, I decided to lay down and try to get some sleep. That didn’t work for the sleeping part, but I did manage to have my headache go away temporarily while I put my pillow on top of my face. I managed to finish it (thank you God that I had already finished Dann’s homework on the weekend!) and went off to school still in a lot of pain. My headache kept getting worse so I ended up just laying down in the back as Kris Vallotton spoke. After a while I couldn’t handle that either so I went out to the lobby.

More and more people prayed for me but I was still hurting the same after school ended. I ran into Joaquin in the hallway and he and two other students started to pray for me. I tested it out by walking and found that my knees weren’t getting weak as I walked. They prayed again and I walked even more, with less pain, but more importantly, without feeling like my knees were going to buckle.

I mention all this to say that with all the pain I was in I kept that as my focus instead of God’s presence. Let me just say that God did not cause me to be in this pain to teach me a lesson, but He sure did use it to show me that I let this circumstance come between me and Him. How quick I was to allow my circumstances to take my focus away from God. Thank you God for your presence and for being bigger than the most excruciating pain I have ever been in!

Dreaming with God

Posted: April 21, 2007 in Healing, Holy Spirit

I have been dreaming a lot recently. Last night was the first night in probably the past two weeks that I woke up and couldn’t remember having a dream. The thing about my dreams is that they have always seemed to be very short. I could write them out in four or five sentences on my computer. On Wednesday at youth group, Linda read some dreams that some of the youth were having. Some of them were really long and when I found myself asking God to give me longer dreams I remembered to be thankful for the dreams I have been getting.

Well, that night I had a longer dream. It had many sections to it which is very unusual for me. The next night I had an even longer dream which took up almost two pages typed out. So on my way to the church that morning I was asking God why I wasn’t having dreams that were of real life events that I would see unfold. Again I remembered to be thankful for what God had just given me, realizing that I have seen an increase in dreams over the past few weeks.

After spending some time praying and soaking I had the unique opportunity to minister to the Pastor on Call team at church. Joaquin, who is one of the first year pastors and also the director of the healing rooms (he also led the mission trip I was on), led the meeting. He began talking about Benny Hinn learning about the Holy Spirit through watching Kathryn Kuhlman. She would wait for the presence of God before she would ever go out in front of a crowd. Then she would preach for hours until she recognized a shift in the spirit, at which time she would begin calling out words of knowledge and point to different areas of the crowd and people would get healed without anyone ever praying for them.

He also talked about how when the apostles prayed in the book of Acts they were so engulfed with the Spirit that when they went out the Spirit would just leak off of them to heal people. Men like Charles Finney would walk into a room and without saying anything people would fall to their knees crying out to God, repenting of their sins. There is something huge about moving with the Spirit of God. I am just beginning to realize how important this is.

At school we got to hear from Pastor Bill. We watched a clip of him on TBN Thursday night. God, help me to honor people as much as he does! I have never heard him say anything negative about a person before. It blows my mind. The last question that someone asked him was about a subject he had talked about maybe two weeks ago. I mentioned it here as well because I thought that it was so important. He stressed to us that a radical encounter with God does not make us anything better than someone who has never had such an encounter.

He again stressed how we must give honor to the small things that God gives us. The presence of God being in our midst is as big of a deal as a big encounter that could change our lives forever. The problem is that we put a measure on it, deeming it unimportant. He also told us to engage God’s presence and not just enjoy it. I believe that is what great revivalists have done. They recognized the presence of God coming into the meeting and then engaged it. Sure some may have worked out of their anointing, but when they wait on the Lord, they aren’t waiting so that they can fall asleep, they are waiting to set up an ambush, so that like Kathryn Kuhlman, when the Presence comes, the miracles immediately follow.

Holy!

Posted: April 20, 2007 in Uncategorized

Just two hours after I wrote my blog yesterday I was encountering God in a way that hasn’t really happened in a while. It didn’t hurt that the night before I had just heard Heidi Baker repeat “Holy, Holy, Holy” over and over again. It also didn’t hurt that the worship leader was singing, “You are Holy, oh so Holy, you are Holy, Lord”. God is so holy. I have messed up so much, yet He welcomes me into His arms as though I have never done anything wrong. In fact, He pursues meto wrap me in His arms.

Today at school during worship I had to sit down. I started to cry again and was hit with the fact that I was sitting in the presence of a Holy God. The manifest presence of a Holy God was in my midst. My hands were on fire. How do I know they were on fire? My body was cold yet my hands were very hot. Words cannot express the impact it had on me to realize that God Almighty was right there with me. Did I mention yet that He is Holy? He is Holy! HE IS HOLY! God you are HOLY!

Here I go again. Yes, I am crying yet again. Every time I think about God since Tuesday I have begun to cry. Get yourself together David. Actually, don’t get yourself together, get wrecked by God and never be the same. He is Holy! I got prophetic words today that really hit me. One was at school and the others were at a home group. The one at school was great because it confirmed what is going to happen because of what God is doing in me right now. He is Holy! The words I got tonight are great because they dealt with many of the leadership questions that I have been facing the past few days. God successfully covered everything that I needed.

There have now been several times in the past couple days where God has rocked me. His love is becoming more real every day. His holiness is becoming greater the more I think about Him. Oh God just to be with you! You let me be with you! Do you realize how amazing this is? This is like getting to hang out with the coolest person in the world, anyone you would like, but better, and you can hang out with God as much as you like! I remember thinking how cool it seemed to be hanging out with Bill Johnson, Randy Clark, and the other awesome leaders of the Power Invasion in Brazil last July. I still catch myself thinking that I am special because I got to hang out with cool people. That does not even compare to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ! Thank you Lord for all the people who help mold me, but let me never forget that you are the source and that I must know you above all! You are Holy! God is so good. He is Holy. He is Holy. He is Holy!

Leading Lower

Posted: April 19, 2007 in Healing

So it has been a few days. I am still alive, but there has been enough things going on that have kept me from sitting down and thinking about what I would write about. Well, I just had a revelation as I was reading The New Mystics here in the Lobby at church while I wait for youth to start. I realized that I am not comfortable leading people who I feel are at least as strong a leader as I am.

I was just thinking about how I don’t really like leading small group here at school because I don’t feel like I am the clear cut leader of the group. I realized that although I wouldn’t want to be leading a small group I am going to need to learn how to lead in situations where I am appointed as the leader but it is not because I am the only leader.

I think a major key for me in life will be my ability to lead in situations where I am surrounded by leaders. I am not trying to say that I need to let everyone know that I am the leader in an arrogant way, but rather that I need to learn how to lead leaders as though it was very natural for me to do. Right now I feel like a fish out of water, but I need to learn to soar like an eagle in the sky.

Last night at home group we watched a video of Heidi Baker preaching her “Lower Still” message at the Brownsville Revival in Pensacola, FL. To be more accurate, I listened to it as I lay on the floor with my face in the ground. Since there is no way for me to capture what she said in this blog, I won’t even try. However, I was completely shaken by her humility and the revelation that she walks in due to constantly being in the Presence of God.

Her message wasn’t flashy and the average person at the meeting could write her off as a lunatic; however, it is hard to argue with someone who has planted 8,000 churches in a decade, feeds thousands of children every day, sees every deaf ear opened, sees most blind eyes opened, and who has raised the dead. You might not agree with her, but what fruit has been produced in your life?

The message gave me a clear picture of what my life, and the leadership principles I mentioned above, will look like in the years to come. Here is someone with a PhD who preaches often from the floor. For those who have not seen her I mean that she is lying on the floor. It looks like she is a mess, but the truth is that she is a mess for Jesus. Do I have it all together? Nope. Can God still use me? You bet. He moves in the biggest ways through those He has formed deep relationships with and the only way those can be formed are through time and trial.

It was a clear message to me that I must understand who I am and who God is. I must have a deeper understanding of Christ, to really know Him, to be His best friend.

This doesn’t make sense to me as I write it, but as I watched and listened I realized that appearing to have it all together is not a requirement in the Kingdom. I probably don’t get it now because I need to learn something else about it, but there is something amazing about having one of the biggest leaders in all of Christianity to preach while lying on the floor. She wasn’t trying to impress the crowd with a polished message. Instead she spontaneously went where the Spirit led and poured her heart out to God.

This is too big for me to comprehend right now. I am back at the roadblock of a mind that can’t produce thoughts that I had last night. However, in that place I felt like I could do more for Christ than when my mind is bogged down with the thoughts of daily life. When Jesus and Him crucified is all that matters you have reached the starting place where God can begin to use you to change the world.